*Sigh* It is that time of year again. The time of year when everyone and their mothers whip out their journals (matter of fact, my journal is right in front of me), sticky notes, purchase enough self-help books to build a fort, rushing to the gym to get the $1000+ membership WITH a personal trainer, a diet plan and the list goes on and on…

Then comes the end of January and there you are again. Sitting on your couch, scrolling through TikToks, your gym clothes collecting dust as it sits in your closet for weeks on end, and you’re ordering food to your house because god forbid you grab your keys and pick up the food yourself.

We have all been there. I’ve been there plenty of times and I understand. It is a fresh start, and starting from scratch can be comforting for many people. New years resolutions allow people to metaphorically “leave their baggage” behind and begin a new journey. It is no surprise why this concept is so appealing, especially when navigating through hardship.

People initially get a high from setting goals because part of you feels like you already achieved them.

A fresh start like a new year, new semester or a new job is where most people feel the most optimistic about self-improvement because it is different from their daily routine. For example, most schools have winter break during Christmas and New Year’s where you are engaging in activities outside the norm such as staying up late and attending holiday parties. In these circumstances, you are temporarily removed from your busy day-to-day routine which allows you to retreat and take a step back to reflect on what you want.

Once the novelty of it all subsides, you are left wondering why you made those goals in the first place.

In these moments, I would encourage you to practice self-compassion by recognizing that it is challenging to implement change once you’re back to “normal life”-whatever normal looks like to you. You are definitely not alone when it comes to feeling like you failed to make progress on your new year’s resolutions.

Now that we have an understanding of some of the reasons why people don’t always follow through with their new years resolutions, how do we stick to them?

What worked for me was to set goals intuitively. Meaning, that it did not matter how far into the year we’d gotten, if I felt as though something in my life needed to change, I would create a plan of action right away.

For example, one of my goals last year was to do more writing by any means. I established this goal mid-year and I started journaling right away. There were moments where I thought, “why don’t I start tomorrow, next week, next month, etc.” because it seems like there has to be a “perfect” time to start something.

I would argue that there are long-term benefits to setting goals as you see fit because you learn how to integrate your plan of action into your day-to-day routine. When you set goals during the holiday season, outside your normal routine, you may not consider how these goals would affect you. It is easy to say “oh starting from January 1st I will go to the gym for 2 hours straight after work” but once the holidays are over and you are back to work, you remember how exhausting work can be. Therefore you may not have the energy to work out for 2 hours straight after work.

However, if you set the goal during your normal schedule, it is much easier to set realistic expectations and work your way up.

The reality is that the idea of starting a new goal at the “perfect” time does not exist. Even something as small as waiting until tomorrow can set you back on your goals because it allows you to fixate on the timing of your goal, rather than the goal itself.

The language we use to describe this phenomenon is worth noting. We call it “new years resolutions”, thereby implying that the goals are set at a specific date, with no mention of changing or adding more goals further down the line. I stopped labelling my goals as “new years resolutions” “winter semester goals” or “goals for this quarter” because self-improvement is NOT linear.

When we attribute our goals to these categories, it puts a lot of pressure on us to achieve the goal within a specific amount of time. if we don’t achieve our new year’s resolutions by the end of the year, that can really affect our self-esteem and leave us feeling less motivated to continue. For instance, if your new year’s resolution was to lose 50 pounds in a year but you failed to do so because other life events took priority, it can make you feel like you are unfit to achieve the goal. In reality, there is more nuance to that.

To summarize, in order to get closer to achieving my goals, I remove unnecessary pressure by NOT labelling my goals with time, I add goals intuitively and practice self-compassion throughout the whole process by recognizing the challenges that come with change. If change was easy, everybody would be the best version of themselves.

Change is hard and external factors such as childhood trauma, mental health issues, financial stress etc. all contribute to how we internalize our belief system- that includes our belief within ourselves.

There is no perfect time to start anything. As cliche as it sounds, the time to start something is NOW.

Don’t wait on the perfect circumstance to begin self-improvement goals, start NOW because future you will be so thankful that you started today.